my pistol doesnt shoot, it just kinda drips...all over my sheets, when i pull out of you.

the black sheets of my twin bed
coated in a fog of sex strains and cigarette ash
my pistol doesn't shoot, it just kinda drips
all over my sheets, when i pull out of you
i cant help but wonder
out of insecurity, out of curiosity
am i defect?
are my little soldiers weak
lazy maybe
procrastinators like me?
unable to make it to their mark
i hope so
because i dont think of baby names
because i dont plan on having babies
but i still cant help but wonder
was it all the drugs through puberty?
was it all the times i was kicked in the nads?

when i think back on puberty
when i think back on my younger self
i almost cant believe that shit
im surprised i didnt try to kill myself multiple times
i cant imagine what it must had been like
to walk by me in the halls

i feel ugly
all the time
but back then
i think there may had been some truth to it
of course
im sure i was probably to blame
not just the hormones
if i wanted to do something about it
i should have

doing lots and lots of drugs
took care of the weight
made me feel like skeletor
but not as cool as skeletor
in fact
it made me feel uglier about myself
because it wasnt about appearance

before i got laid
i used to think my penis was deformed
hormone deficiency
ran in my family
my sister was never able to develop tits properly
she had to get operations to even them out
and i used to think
i had a tiny baby penis
i used to tell everyone i know

it was nice knowing my penis isnt deformed
still not huge
but not deformed
or atleast ive been convinced
by filthy cunts!!!
whom ive loved

even when ive got women frequenting my bed
my black stained sheets
i still feel ugly
afraid
even though i act like an asshole
and slap em around
try to show them im in control
i still feel
weak
tiny
a boy
who looks ridiculous
has a deformed penis
cant write for shit

dan
the pseudo intellect
the pseudo writer
the pseudo bohemian
the pseudo vegan
the pseudo punk
the pseudo romantic
the pseudo comedian

GET OVER YOURSELF FAGGOT!!!!