its a routine. (no specific order)
i forget faces, names, conversations. make an ass of myself. do something inappropriate. lay down on the floor. smoke too many cigarettes. puke. fall on things. throw beer bottles into the street. excessive eating at an extremely quick rate. decide to do drugs i wouldnt normally be interested in. tell people i love them. have sloppy sex with no rhythm. yell alot. call everyone "bitches" or "cats". pass out. lean against walls to keep from falling. smoke something cause its there. have trouble taking my clothes off. dance occasionally. black out. accidental piss on myself. buy too much at the liquor store and spend money I dont have. make strange sounds with strange faces. tell people things i shouldnt. walk funny. lose my train of thought. get whiskey dick or the inability to cum. get carried on my friends shoulders. have long talks with lots of yelling and cursing with fast food order windows. go on tangents, rants. somehow make it back to my bedroom, turn the music up really loud. drool on my pillow.
i wake up. (no specific order)
dehydrated. i puke. indigestion. long piss. cough up phlegm. the random scratches, bruises, cuts. something hurts, like it may be strained. throat hurts. feel so weak. i'm sore somewhere. gassy. moan and complain. hallucinate when i stare at something long enough. head ache. smell rancid. bloated but empty stomached, yet i feel like im going to shit myself. force myself to eat. bicker and bitch. everything tastes like nothing. drink vitamin c, gatoraid i love you. feel so sick i dont enjoy that first smoke, cough through it. self loathing. disgusted. pasty gross tongue taste. eyes hate the sun. liver feels stepped on. long gross shit, thats unfulfilling. lots of water. groggy. make apologies. tell myself what to never do again. have little flashbacks of last night. confused. sick. late for work.
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